


Sad Wind

by haknyeonsmrjoo



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M, angsty, please play the songs on loop while reading this, sorry I just didn't
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-18
Updated: 2017-10-18
Packaged: 2019-01-18 23:51:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12398805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haknyeonsmrjoo/pseuds/haknyeonsmrjoo
Summary: Doyoung is your stereotypical dutiful boyfriend to Jung Jaehyun, who is also a playboy who can't keep his hands on his sides.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Wanted to make a slightly angsty fanfic for DoJae. I really see Doyoung as the one who fits the “dutiful housewife” mold, in my book at least. Jaehyun is the point of interest here, and Taeyong is the third party. Inspired by Wonder Girls’ “Why So Lonely”. Man, the song is full of feels about unfaithful guys. Sorry Woojae, you just fit in like a puzzle piece. /squeals in Busan dialect/
> 
> I'd like to recommend these songs while reading this angsty piece. Please keep them on loop while reading this. These are my inspirations for this fic:
> 
> Wonder Girls -- "Why So Lonely"  
> Heechul x Wheein -- "Narcissus"  
> Tiffany x Simon Dominic -- "Heartbreak Hotel"  
> K.Will -- "Please Don't"
> 
> Crossposted on AFF.

It was a stormy Friday night. Most people would be hanging out with their friends and family, because it’s the weekend the next day. They can party their hearts out, not worrying about their sleeping and waking up times at the least. They can be themselves after five days of being someone else’s.

But not for Doyoung. He needs to work his ass off, the mountain of files looming over him. Instead of hanging out with his office mates, he decided to do overtime work. Yuta had to smack him over the head when he heard that.

“Kim Doyoung, this company won’t be yours in the end. Duh, we’re all workers here. Don’t be a slave to them and let’s have fun tonight. I know a place in Itaewon, it’s gonna be fun,” he said, his Osaka dialect evident in every syllable. Yuta came from Japan, but he knew Itaewon and the rest of Seoul better than anyone else. He’s more Korean than half of the office, to say the least.

“Itaewon’s not my thing. I’d rather finish this first. Jaehyun said he’s gonna treat me to dinner after this, but that won’t be until 9, and I don’t have anything else to do, so yeah. Enjoy yourselves, and don’t get drunk!” he gently scolded the older one. Yuta just huffed and went out of the office, leaving him all alone in his cubicle.

As he typed the data needed in the documents, Doyoung thought of his relationship with Jaehyun. Theirs are not perfect, to begin with. After coming out to his parents when he was in high school, he had to face the cold treatment from them. His family is a conservative one, and having sexualities like this is a taboo on their household.

Being in a relationship with Jaehyun didn’t help, either. Jaehyun’s family has bad blood with his family, as they were business rivals. When he invited Jaehyun over to dinner one night, his parents didn’t take this well.

“You are a disappointment in this family. We tried to accept, no, to let your sexuality pass. We tried to be considerate. But you, being in a relationship with a _family rival!_ ” his father roared. His mom tried to calm him down, but he ignored her. “This is utterly unacceptable. Get out of this house. We don’t have a son like you. You are a disgrace to this family,” he ordered.

That was the last time his father talked to him.

 

He and Jaehyun lived together since then. They managed to finish their studies, with the help from Jaehyun’s family. Unlike his family, Jaehyun accepted them well, as long as their relationship won’t harm the younger’s chances in owning the company in the future. He now works at the family’s textile business, while Jaehyun managed to grasp the higher rungs of the corporate ladder. Of course, his family owns the business.

They promised each other to keep their relationship a secret from their officemates and coworkers, because this can create ripples and a scandal is the last thing they need right now. Jaehyun and he worked in different departments, so they only meet on Friday nights.

Jaehyun himself is not the perfect boyfriend, either. Doyoung had seen him with different men _and_ women on several occasions. He merely said that they’re clients or someone his parents wanted him to meet due to connections. He let those pass, even the one time he saw him kissing Kang Seulgi, the daughter of the owner of Kang Enterprises. The excuse was lame as fuck, but he just accepted it because he didn’t want to harm his boyfriend’s chances.

Yuta, his office best buddy, often scold him about him turning a blind eye on his boyfriend’s infidelities.

“Are you in the running to be the next martyr for the Christian faith? And you’re not even Christian, for fuck’s sake,” he rumbled one day. They ate lunch together in the office cafeteria. Jaehyun rarely eats with him, because the higher-ups always lunch outside.

“You know if I asked him about it, we would just fight and it would affect his performance. He’s poised to be the next CEO of this company. I don’t want to hurt his chances,” he fiddled on his soup.

“That’s a given already. But this is different. We are talking about your feelings and your relationship with him.”

“Don’t be too loud! Someone might hear us,” he hissed.

“Don’t care, don’t give a fuck, and at this rate I should be posting this on the company forum. He doesn’t care about you anymore, as far as I can see. Do you know Lee Taeyong? The guy, whose family owns the Chinese account, has been too touchy-feely to him lately. You need to be on your guard, man. Woojae’s family also favors him, from what I can see,” the Japanese guy said.

“No, he wouldn’t do it without a logical reason. I know Jaehyun, he’s not like that,” he defended.

“Okay, what else can I do now? Just don’t come running into my station and telling me I didn’t warn you, because boy I shower you with warnings every single day.”

He smiled, feeling thankful of the guy’s concern to him.

 

Doyoung walked leisurely, enjoying the cool evening breeze. Jaehyun was not answering his calls, and he decided to just go home. After all, they can have dinner some other time.

As he opened the front door, he turned on the lights. Something was odd, he thought. Jaehyun has his briefcase lying on the couch, along with his shoes scattered on the floor. He must be tired, he thought again. Sighing, he picked up the guy’s things and he was about to go upstairs when he heard a faint voice. “Please, now,” the voice said. It was too husky to be Jaehyun.

His first instinct is to storm upstairs and go to their bedroom. He brushed that off, and he tiptoed silently up the stairs.

When he reached their room, the door was slightly ajar. He tiptoed, finally grabbing the door knob silently.

What he saw was definitely not the one he was expecting.

 

“Doyoung, are you okay?”

Jaehyun was sitting on the couch, facing Doyoung. He was perspiring a little, even though it was autumn and the heater wasn’t on. His eyes kept on watching the older, his feet tapping on the marble floor.

Doyoung didn’t answer.

It was a couple of hours after Doyoung saw everything: clothes scattered on the floor, Jaehyun lying on the bed, stark naked. A guy, whose face he recognized as Lee Taeyong, was also naked, sitting on top of his boyfriend. He was riding him, and Jaehyun was grabbing his hips, meeting his body with every thrust.

Doyoung’s hand left the door knob. He dropped the briefcase on the floor, creating a loud thump that startled the two naked men. He ran away from them, ignoring Jaehyun’s shouts and Taeyong’s smirk, downstairs and ran outside, not stopping until his legs gave up.

He felt his eyes getting wetter and hotter, and before he knew it, a seemingly endless stream of tears flowed on his cheeks. He sobbed, grasping for air, crying bitterly. He wanted to scream, to shout, to tear his lungs out, but he couldn’t. He cried and cried until the tears ran out.

He came back home after some time, seeing his boyfriend’s anxious face. He was fully dressed now, albeit in a white t-shirt and black shorts. His face was flushed, and Doyoung wondered if it’s because of embarrassment or the aftermath of an orgasm.

Jaehyun explained, stumbling on every word. Doyoung could not understand him. He just sat there, facing this bastard of a boyfriend.

“Are you okay, Doyoung?”

 _No, I’m not. I’m not okay, and will never be._ He nodded.

Then he rose, not looking at the younger. He felt too tired to speak, even to think of what to say. He just wanted this day to pass, hoping that everything is just a bad dream, a nightmare. He made his way upstairs, changing his clothes. He turned to see the bed, the very bed where he saw his boyfriend having sex with someone else; sheets still rumpled and a drop of body fluid left there to dry.

The thought of him sleeping on this bed made his insides turn upside down. He felt nauseated, disgusted. The thought was revolting indeed. He wanted to cry, but even his eyes gave up on him. Everything gave up on him. Even Jaehyun gave up on him.

 

Jaehyun saw him coming downstairs, a big backpack slung on his shoulders, dragging his suitcase. He rose, seeing his boyfriend in everything but happiness.

“I’m very sorry, Doyoung, let me explain again, it was—

He was cut by a ringing slap. His cheeks turning deep red, his boyfriend had slapped him. This was a first, as Doyoung could never lift a finger even to bugs.

“Let me go, please,” he said, his voice filled with pleading.

His mind wanted him to grab him, never let him go, but he couldn’t move a muscle. He wanted to grab Doyoung, but he didn’t have the strength. He watched Doyoung as he grabbed his suitcase, marching outside.

He quickly recovered. “Doyounghyung, please, stop.”

The older didn’t hear him. He just continued walking until he stopped for a bit to cross the street.

He shouted his name, yelled at him to stop. He didn’t even turn around.

Doyoung continued crossing the street.

Then Jaehyun saw a blinding light, some honks and a crash. It was silent for a moment, and then a scream brought him back to his senses.

He saw Doyoung, covered in blood. His head had a nasty open wound, his arms and legs oddly angled. His suitcase was burst open, the belongings of his boyfriend scattered all over the road, and some splattered with blood.

He looked at his boyfriend, his eyes half closed.

“Doyounghyung, don’t leave me, please, I’m sorry for everything,” he hurriedly apologized.

Doyoung just looked at him, his half closed eyes focused on him.

“It’s okay,” he whispered, then gasped, getting some more air.

Jaehyun could feel his eyes welling up with tears, but he brushed them roughly. “No, please let me change for the better, I won’t do that again, please just don’t die!” he hissed at him.

The older tried to smile, and he felt fingers grasping his shirt. “I love you, Jaehyun. Now be free. I’m sorry,” he said.

Doyoung trembled, then his eyes were shut.

Jaehyuncouldn’t remember anything else.

 

After the burial, Jaehyun lingered in the cemetery for some more time. He wanted to be alone.

Except that a piece of paper hit his face.

He looked up to see Yuta, Doyoung’s officemate and best friend looking back at him. He rose up, tidying his pants. Yuta’s look is one of indifference, anger and disappointment. His face was unreadable.

“Doyoung left that for you. Read it, I’m going, and fuck you,” he said, turning his back on him.

He wanted to talk to Yuta more about Doyoung, but he couldn’t. They’re not close, anyway, and the look on Yuta’s face might suggest that he just wanted to punch him in the face instead of talking to him.

He started unfolding the paper, first seeing the slanted handwriting of his boyfriend. He just got himself reminded that he would never see him writing again.

His face grew more serious as he read deeper on the letter. After reading it, he just felt really bad, and the last thing he wants to do is to live. Tears came down his eyes once again. Jaehyun was sobbing, his chest heaving, gasping for breaths.

_I am a bad person. I am a bastard. I don’t deserve him. I don’t deserve to live._

 

 

Two weeks later, another burial took place in the same cemetery. The ground beside Doyoung’s final resting place was being dug up. Oddly enough, the mourners in the burial beside Doyoung’s were the same people who mourned the older’s death weeks ago.

 

After the burial, the stone epitaph was also laid, as a finishing touch. It read:

 

**Jung Jaehyun**

1997 – 2025

_“The last thing that shall be destroyed is death.”_

_Always and forever Kim Doyoung’s._


	2. the letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's the letter Doyoung had written for Jaehyun. Sorry for this being too mushy. ;;

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Crossposted on AFF.

_Jaehyun,_

 

_They say that the ice cream is best eaten when it’s freezing cold. You can feel the coolness of it, as it melts in your mouth, soothing your body after a hot and tiring day. You cannot enjoy eating the ice cream if it’s melted already. It becomes sticky, too wet and uncomfortable to swallow._

_For years, I thought I could keep the relationship until the end of time. I thought that you are just entering a phase, an experimental stage in your life. I tried to understand everything, even if Yuta keeps on smacking my head because I was too martyr-like, according to him._

_I just don’t want you to leave me, Jaehyun. I don’t have a family now. My family would rather eat rats for lunch than accept me back. I don’t have much in life, so that’s why I shrugged everything and tolerated whatever you do. Even if it breaks my heart, I just swallow it all, gulping everything. Even if it’s too bitter for me to swallow, I stomach it. I do that because I love you, and I can accept everything because I love you._

_Jaehyun, I’m very sorry for not being a good boyfriend to you. I have a lot of inconsistencies, and I know I lack in several things. I cannot give you what you wanted, so it’s fine if you have found it in someone else’s. It’s normal for us humans to look for better options, and I understand that. Like what I told Yuta, you don’t do things without a rational and logical reason. I’m very sorry because you don’t deserve a lacking person like me in your life._

_People say, if you really love someone, you should set them free. So far, I know you’re just hiding it, but our relationship has grown uncomfortable for both of us now. The love that we had before, when we were in our early stages has grown cold already. It has become too overwhelming for both of us._

_I don’t blame you for that. I know you tried. I know you did your best. It’s just that, our best turned out to be not good enough._

_People say that change is the only thing permanent in this planet. I quite agree with that. Your love might have grown cold, but mine hasn’t. I still love you, Jung Jaehyun, and that won’t change a bit._

_I’m doing this because I love you. I hope you understand it all._

_I’m letting you go now, because I love you. I am now setting you free because I love you._

_I don’t know, if in our next lives, we would still end up together. But I know, for sure, that my love will still be for you._

_Thank you very much for everything, Jaehyun. I love you until my last breath. I’m sorry for everything._

_Live your life well, and see you in our next lives? I’ll be a rabbit! Till we meet again._

 

_Always and forever,_

_Doyoung_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Talk to me on Curiouscat! @minhyungshyung

**Author's Note:**

> Second chapter is the letter. ^^
> 
> Talk to me on Curiouscat! @minhyungshyung


End file.
